Spongebob goes to Afghanistan
by Smokey Jo
Summary: Spongebob, Patrick, and Gary can't decide where to go on vacation. When there minds are made up they leave for Afghanistan. Gaurenteed to be funny :)
1. Vacation Time

1 Spongebob Goes to Afghanistan  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants and all his little undersea friends (though I wish I did) so none of this relates to Stephen Hillenburg's TV show on NICK.  
  
  
  
Sitting on the couch in his pineapple under the sea with Patrick by his side and Gary at his feet Spongebob started thinking out loud, "Where should we go on vacation this year you guys?"  
  
"Meow." Gary contributed.  
  
"No Gary don't be silly. Remember the last time we went to the Kashmir?" Spongebob shuddered at the thought of being used as a nuclear weapon again.  
  
"I know! What about my bellybutton? I have lots of lint!" Patrick offered.  
  
"Ha ha ha, we won't all fit in there. But thanks for the offer! Why don't we open the newspaper and find a location in there to visit!" Spongebob said as he grabbed the paper from the floor, "Hmmm…. Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan! Let's try there! I'll get the phone and make the plans. Gary why don't you and Patrick go start packing because we are going to Afghanistan! BREAK!"  
  
With a large grin on his face Spongebob walked over to the phone and called 1-800-I-TRAVEL and a young man picked up the phone. "Hello you have reached 1-800-I-TRAVEL how may we be of service to you?"  
  
"Yes, hello. I would like to make plans for three to go to Afghanistan. First class please." Spongebob requested not expecting the answer he got in return.  
  
"Afghanistan? ARE YOU MAD? THAT'S WHERE OSAMA BIN LADEN IS!"  
  
"Just do your job and make the plans man."  
  
  
  
Sorry about the wait, but it in reward I will have some totally awesome chapters coming up, trust me, you will split your side :) 


	2. The Plane Ride and Arrival

1 Spongebob goes to Afghanistan- The Plane Ride  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Spongebob. Do you? Didn't think so, so why do we have to have these stupid things?  
  
  
  
"Patrick, there is no one here accept for us! That's neat we get the whole plane to ourselves!" Spongebob giggled.  
  
"Hello suicidal maniac boys and snail. May I see your tickets so you can go on your deathtrap in Afghanistan?" The lady behind a desk asked, "Thank you. Please enjoy your deaths. You may enter the plane through that door."  
  
"Nice lady." Patrick commented.  
  
Within a few short minutes the trio had been seated and the plane was taking off. They were just in the middle of a nap when the pilot, who looked like he had been on drugs burst through the door and yelled, "AHHHH!!! I FEEL LIKE I AM BETRAYING MY COUNTRY! SEE YOU LATER SUCKERS!" and with that he jumped out the door of the plane, without a parachute.  
  
"Oh no! Who will fly us to Afghanistan now?" Spongebob asked fakely.  
  
"Do not fear. Gary is here!" Says the weird little announcer voice has Gary rips of his skin and shell to reveal a pilots outfit and jumps in to the captain's seat.  
  
"My hero!" Patrick swooned, "Hey, is that a weather vein?"  
  
Not long after that the three best friends arrived in Afghanistan in a beat up plane. The airport was completely deserted except for a man in a turban with a long beard looking around evilly.  
  
"Ahh the good of Afghanistan place! Makes you miss America, doesn't it?" Patrick asked, at the same time the man with the beard and turban screamed. "AMERICANS!" and grabbed them all. Carrying the sponge and starfish underneath his armpits and the snail on his head he trudged through sand dunes and sand storms, people barbecuing sand, and sand castles to his sand lair.  
  
Chapter three soon! You know I won't leave you people hanging for too long! I know what's going to happen I just need to type it up. 


	3. The FUN Song

1 Spongebob goes to Afghanistan- The FUN Song  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Spongebob, if I did would I really be spending my time here?  
  
  
  
Setting them all down in separate chairs Osama bin Laden (the man with the turban and beard) scanned them all carefully deciding what to do with the "Americans" even though they really live in a pineapple under the sea and a rock under the sea. Patrick suddenly whipped out a camera and started snapping pictures like an idiot.  
  
"Smile for the camera!" Patrick ordered as he snapped a picture of Osama bin Laden, "Can I go sightseeing please?"  
  
"No." Osama ordered.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine." Patrick cried. He was blubbering so loud that everyone could hear him back under the sea.  
  
Giving in Osama bin Laden let him go, "Fine you can go, and take the snail. I have something to settle with the sponge."  
  
"Bye Patrick! Bye Gary!"  
  
Going to get a knife from an antique drawer Osama started muttering things to himself randomly. "F is for freaking Americans being in my territory, U is for up theirs, N is for nuking their tallest buildings. WHEN YOU'RE ME!"  
  
"Osama bin Laden, those things aren't what fun is all about. Here, try it like this! F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for u me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in Afghanistan!" Spongebob counter sang.  
  
"What are you sniffing you little sponge freak. Try it like this, F is for f***ing yellow Spongebobs, u is for unbelievable pain, n is for –"  
  
"Never being able to see sunlight cause your wanted in so many countries! When you are bin Laden!" Spongebob joined in with an evil look in his eyes, suddenly changing to a look of innocence, "Can I join Al Qyta? Please….."  
  
"NO CAUSE IM A GONNA KILL YA!" With those words Osama bin Laden lunged at Spongebob trying to stab him, but Spongebob just kept giggling.  
  
"Hehe, that tickles!"  
  
"AHHHH THE EVIL SPONGE WON'T DIE!" 


End file.
